Paying Back Your Parents

Paying Back Your Parents

Alisha has this new job as a waitress at Cracker Barrel. Today someone gave her a twenty-dollar tip on a meal cost of less than twelve dollars. She said she spent much time talking about gas prices with the patrons. Afterwards, the man walked over to her and gave her the twenty. He said, "I hope this will help with your gasoline."

She said thank you and decided then and there she'd better talk about gas prices with everyone who came in. No one else gave her a big tip that day, though.

After church that night, we went to Wal-Mart. I promptly sped to the lunchmeat counter, while Alisha said, "I'll just go off and find something for you to buy me, Dad."

She meant it, too, because when we got in line to check out, she piled her make up stuff to purchase in my stuff. I considered that twenty-dollar tip, and said, "You're making money now. You can pay for that stuff."

"I have to save for college. Or don't you want me to do that?"

I sighed. "Fine."

She glanced around and suddenly said, "There's this ditzy girl in my history class. You know what she told me?"

"What?"

"She's going to pay her parents back for everything they ever did for her."

Quite amazed, I tried to pick her out of the crowd. Could we invite her to become part of our family? I said, "It doesn't sound like a bad idea to me."

"She's nuts, Dad. How do you calculate that? What - you bought me a Hershey bar when I was four years old and I'm going to add that in? 'Let's sure. There's twenty-five cents. And what else did I get that day? Oh, some diapers, because you still hadn't managed to toilet train me by then. That's another six-twenty-two.' Come on."

She stared in the direction of the girl, whom I now saw was rather skinny with purple haiar and a tattoo on her neck. Alisha went on, "Anyway, she isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer because she also told me when she went on her own, she would have twenty-two jobs, live in twenty-two countries, and speak twenty-two languages."

Twenty-two? Why twenty-two? I decided not to ask.

"Really?"
"She's cracked. But anyway, about this paying your parents back thing, isn't that crazy?"

"It can't be done."

"Right. And it destroys the whole thing of parents anyway. I mean, it's not a money relationship. They had you and they wanted you. Why should you pay them back?"

I had to think about it. "It's a nice gesture."

Rolling her eyes, she shook her head. "Really, Dad? How would you do it? And anyway, it defeats the whole thing about parents, as I already said."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, parents want to have you. And they're supposed to take care of you. They can't kick you out of the house or anything because it's against the law." She paused and looked at me suspiciously. "Isn't it?"

"Sort of," I said.

"And anyway," she added perkily. "The whole reason your parents pay for things in your life is because they want you. And they love you. That's it: love. Right? Isn't that right? I mean, I think that's right." She hesitated. "That's right, isn't it? They do it all for love?"

"No, actually it happened because I forgot to use a condom that night."

She stared at me like her head might explode. "Dadddddddd! That's just too too much information!"

"Okay, okay." I had to laugh. I thought that might get her. "Anyway, you're asking me if I love you?"

"Yes, because," she held something out to me. "I found this for you to buy me."

It was a little facial crème dispenser on top of the other things.

"I'm supposed to buy this for you, too?"

"Yes, because I'm your beloved daughter, you wanted me in the first place, and you love me."

"Really?"

"Or maybe if you just happen to have the extra money, I'd be okay with that, too."

"Great."
I paid for her cream dispenser and everything else. We walked out of Wal-Mart full of talk about the crazy ideas some kids have. I wondered where she got the crazy idea that I still pay for everything in her life, even though now she's making nearly two hundred dollars a week. How did I get sucked into that one?

Oh, yeah. Because I wanted her and I can't kick her out, and I happen to forget to use proper birth control now and then.


Not necessarily in that order.


Mark's Comment: I have read many times that it costs something like $120,000 to raise a kid. It always astounds me, but when I think about it, that's a little low. It certainly doesn't include college, car insurance (to say nothing of a car itself), and all the fines you'll probably have to pay for traffic tickets and also repairing the car after she's cracked it up. So, the bill is probably more like, $1,200,000.

Is it worth it? Not when you think about a figure that high. But then when you look into that child's darling eyes, and see their cute smile, and they sincerely tell you, "I'm going to pay you back for everything you ever spent on me," you realize that this could very well be the only way you will ever retire comfortably.

Alisha' s Comment: That girl is definitely squirrelly, don't you think?